I believe Elizabeth Hasselbeck's tears this week on "The View" were sincere. I believe she seeks racial harmony in our country and so do I. Further, it's my hunch that hundreds of thousands of people, many of them white, were nodding along as she expressed her passionate belief that the constant use of the 'n-word' in pop culture makes it more difficult to get to a better, more racially understanding society.

I think she's right. I hate the 'n-word' when anybody uses it. But let me be very clear about my opinion on all of this. ...


Anyone who thinks the move toward racial equality and harmony in this country rests on who uses or does not use the 'n-word' does not even begin to comprehend the kind of gut wrenching self examination and barrier blasting work it will take to build a color neutral society in America.

From "The View"

"We live in a world where pop culture uses that term and we're trying to get to a place where we feel like we're in the same place," Elisabeth said. "How are we supposed to then...move forward if we keep using terms that bring back such pain?"

"I can tell you how, here's how we do it, you listen and say 'Okay, this is how we're using this word and this is why we do it,' and you have to say, 'I understand that, but let's find a new way to move forward,'" Whoopi fired back.
"We don't live in different worlds,"

Elisabeth insisted, "We live in the same world."

However, Whoopi fiercely disagreed with her co-host, saying, "We do live in different worlds, it's just that way. It is Elisabeth."

Yes Elizabeth, there is a double standard. A black person will not be penalized for using the 'n-word,' and a white person will.

But why does that matter? My perpetually unanswered question to all of the white people who make this complaint is why in the world would any racially sensitive white person want to use the 'n-word'? Why does this particular double standard tick you off so much?

I hate the 'n-word.' I don't use it. My family: me, my mom and my grandmother, sat down together and decided not to use that word. And we didn't and we don't. I have asked black people not to use it in my presence. I have strongly urged white people who wanted my friendship to stop using it altogether, even with other black people who condone it. And I've encouraged them to ask the same of their white friends. But I don't believe in banning words. You can't enforce it anyway.

I feel Elizabeth's pain. Honest talk about race is painful stuff. But as I say to myself many, many times everyday: the only way out is through.