Textual Healing, The Epilogue - Detroit Mayor Off To Jail

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Short version: Former Detroit mayor Kwame Kilpatrick, after pleading guilty to lying under oath from the whole sexual text message thing that I'm not going to repeat here for the eight millionth time, gets yoked for 120 days in the Wayne County clink.

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Now, the last high-profile folks I heard of to be found guilty of lying under oath got way more than 120 days in jail (for example Lewis "Scooter" Libby, Lil Kim), so Kilpatrick should thank his lucky stars (and prison stripes) that he didn't get worse. ...


But man, the judge laid into him, chastising him like a high school freshman who dropped water balloons from the balcony above the gym.

"Ultimately what shocked this Court and much of the community was your press conference after your plea hearing. That night the community expected to hear a message of humility, remorse, and apology. Instead, we heard an arrogant and defiant man who accused the governor, among others, for his downfall. Your statements were incredible given the fact that you had just pled guilty to two felony counts for perjury and obstruction of justice and no contest to one count of assaulting a police officer in exchange for dismissal of 7 counts before this Court. Although the Probation Department's pre-sentence report indicates that you have accepted responsibility for your actions, this Court questions your sincerity..."


Actually, it was harsher, like if he dropped water-filled condoms; which makes a better metaphor since what he did was both more costly and would have been funny to him if he had gotten way with it.

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