Five Really Obvious Reasons The GOP Tanked

Man, it was really hard to be serious for these last few posts. Right about now, I really need to go back to being a smart ass or I'll bust my maverick.

By now, the Republican Party is going through election withdrawal over their sorry loss to PRESIDENT-ELECT BARACK OBAMA, with some officials fitting themselves for nooses and others walking the streets with hooded sweatshirts in order to hide themselves from the shame of being freakin' losers!

But I'm not an unfeeling brother. I understand what it is to have a complete organizational meltdown and walk through a chaotic political muck, just inches from a cliff that drops off into an eternal abyss of confusion and anguish. I've got a heart.

In fact, I think I can offer some solace to John McCain and my Republican brothers and sisters and show them a few reasons they lost (in case they didn't already know what has been obvious to the country for at least three months):
5. The Religious Right.
Hey, I've got no problem with people who go to church, keep faith close to their hearts or invest in some type of spirituality. But these guys have been getting ridiculous since the late 1970s. That insipid liar, the (thankfully) late Jerry Falwell began this "Moral Majority" movement that eventually took over the GOP voting base, and eventuall took control of the party out of the hands of its policy makers which had once been a group of rational-thinking fiscal conservatives. In time, it became more important to be a Bible-thumper than it was to actually balance budgets, reach out to the rest of the globe, recognize societal diversity, or encourage human rights. All that culminated over the last eight years of idiocy in the Bush Administration. People saw the result of giving absolute power to religious zealots. If it had continued, we'd be on our way to a Taliban-lite theocracy.

4. It's Stupid, the Economy.
Make no mistake, this economy is in an outdoor toilet. The Republican (and Democrat-supported) notion that you could just deregulate the nation's financial industries and it would have no effect is like letting dogs loose in a yard and expecting them not to poop. That led to everything from the Enron scam to the big subprime mortgage debacle. The government should, in theory have little more to do with the Gross Domestic Product than just tabulating it, but there are reasons we have laws that keep these things in balance. The idea of living within our means has been sacrificed for a 'more, more, more' culture on many social levels, finance types took advantage of that, and it has cost us. Yes, free markets are the hinges to the doors of our economy, but they have to have something to keep them in check so that the greedy can't run roughshod all over innocent people. If that's socialism, then just call me Trotsky!

To be fair, if the economy had tanked under a Democratic administration, then we'd be blaming them, like we did Jimmy Carter for crap Gerald Ford pulled. The truth is this is the fault of both Democrats and Republicans for not checking the hedonistic attitudes of the finance industry. Bottom line, if you keep feeding a baby, eventually you will find something in his diaper.

3. Joe the Plumber, Rev. Jeremiah Wright, Bill Ayres, ACORN, accusations of being a 'terrorist' and/or 'socialist.'
This was sloppy politics at its worst. At a time when people were worried about keeping a roof over their heads, McCain/Palin supporters constantly tried to use the same fear factor tactics that worked in 2004 for Bush. They didn't get it: this isn't 2004. If John McCain wanted to run against Bush "he should have done it four years ago." The GOP spent way too much time trying to prove how Obama was bad instead of proving how McCain was good. All this stupid stuff should have been shut up immediately by the campaign, but instead they allowed the slack-jawed yokels to take control, driving an 18-wheeler on an icy mountain cliff road with no steering wheel.

Lincoln once said: "You can fool some of the people some of the time...(yadda, yadda yadda)," but if you take everyone for an idiot, they will kick you in the balls.

2. Sarah Palin.
I don't know where to begin with this woman. If it wasn't for her incessant cackling of the word "maverick"; her bragging about her husband Todd's multiple wins in the Alaskan Iditarod dog sled race; or continually saying stupid things the few times the Republicans let the press have access to her; maybe the GOP would have had a chance. I remember when John McCain brought her onto the stage at the Republican National Convention, there was a televised shot of ex-House Speaker Newt Gingrich (author of the 'Contract on America'). The disgust tatooed on his face said more than enough about this poor choice. Palin's ascendancy into the spotlight only showed that McCain no longer had the judgement required to be president. He clearly picked her to get disenfranchised Hillary Clinton voters, and the simpletons who drooled over George Bush, sniffing his farts, in two elections.

It probably became clear to him what a mistake this was when during an ABC News interview she made clear that she did not know what the "Bush Doctrine" of pre-emptive action was. Recently it has even come out that she spent far more than the reported $150,000 on wardrobe, and that she did not know that Africa was a continent. It was an anti-intellectual choice for a country that is way smarter than the Republicans took them for.

1. George Walker Bush.
By now, I'm certain several pundits have already said this: Bush caused a McCain loss in both 2000 and 2008. The first time with dirty politricks. The second time by being the worst president in many decades. I don't have to spell out the laundry list of poor policy decisions, political mistakes, ignorance, willingness to put the country at unneccesary risk, warmongering, and outright criminal lying that came to define the past eight years of the White House. To top this off, a God-awful ill-conceived war that has fractured our military and caused us to be the object of international hatred, and will eventually cost us trillions, is the hallmark of this dude's life. It is clear that the Texas Rangers was the place for Bush, he couldn't have made them any worse.

By the time Nov. 4, 2008 came the overwhelming majority of voters at the very least felt that Jar Jar Binks could have done a better job then Dubya. In short, Bush turned out to be the worst president of my lifetime. At least Reagan was smart but evil. Bush was just stupid. It was this violent uphil whitewater river filled with ice and and an Exxon tanker oil spill that McCain had to contend with. If he had won the presidency against that, we would have had to test him to see if he could walk on water.

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The high likelihood is that McCain will serve out the last years of his term in the Senate forgetting about another presidential run, and retire...a wise old statesman who has seen some of the best and worst this country has had to offer. He shouldn't worry about what might have been, but proudly hold his head up that he wanted better for the USA. Like the saying goes: "Old soldiers don't die, they just fade away."