Obama Hatin' Alan Keyes Ain't Wrapped Too Tight

There is only one person on the political right wing that seems to have made a bigger fool of himself in the last five years than Sarah Palin and that's conservative, uh -- well, I really don't know what the hell he does for a living -- Alan Keyes. Actually he was a U.S. Ambassador under Reagan...big freakin' whoop.

Now, we've long known that Keyes is a staunch defender of what he calls traditional American Christian values. In fact, he is so far gone in his fixation on making America one big Father Knows Best marathon that he makes Pat Robertson look like Luther Campbell.

He was even made a boob of by comedian Sasha Baron Cohen in that fantastic movie of all things American Borat which was probably one of the best movies of the last 10 years simply because of its ability to clown people like Keyes.

But Keyes' latest foray into the absurd is his most stupid: a lawsuit claiming that President-Elect Barack Obama was not born in the United States and is thus ineligible to be president. ...

They've even verified that his birth certificate is an authentic document printed by the State of Hawaii. But that's not enough for Keyes, they've got to authenticate it not to the standards of the government of Hawaii, but to his standards: which basically means that Obama needs to turn into a neo-Nazi or skinhead.

Essence.com did an interview with him on this issue, and this guy makes it clear that he ain't wrapped too tight.

Actually, he reminds me of the classic Chappelle's Show skit where Dave portrayed a blind, black Klan member. That's probably one of his funniest, and most appropriate when it comes to describing fruitcakes like Keyes.

My thinking is that if there were some real question about the whereabouts of Obama's birth, other neo-con sleaze pimps who are way smarter than Keyes would have brought that out a long time ago. Now, Hawaii does not release birth certificates to anyone who does not have a vested interest in seeing it. But haters like Keyes and others, who have actually had their cases thrown out, have to have proof beyond legal documentation. But, there is none. The law is the end of the road, toad. Besides, this article from FactCheck.org pretty much shuts down any argument that Obama isn't a natural-born citizen of the United States. And don't believe the crap about FactCheck being in Obama's pockets.

Here's the truth. On his way to the top, Obama encountered Alan Keyes while running for the U.S. Senate seat in Illinois. The front-runner, Republican Jack Ryan was forced to leave office because of a freaky-deaky sex scandal and the GOP had nobody to replace him. Many names were put forth, even ex-Chicago Bears coach Mike Ditka had been considered. But the Republicans pulled a precursor to the Palin move by getting ultra-conservative loser Keyes, a perpetual presidential candidate (he embarassed the American Independent Party as their pick in 2008) who keeps getting laughed out of the primaries. What's more, he didn't even live in Illinois, he came over from Maryland.

Obama, then an ambitious state senator, put his eye on the Senate seat and won it hands down over Keyes, who barely got a vote. In classic Keyes behavior, instead of acknowledging his defeat by Obama, Keyes wouldn't even call him to offer congratulations. At least John McCain was man enough (and classy enough) to reach across the bridge and admit he was bested by the better candidate.

I'm not going to say Alan Keyes ain't a man, but after a move like that he is most certainly a wimp.

His insane jealousy of Obama has actually made him famous for being the hater that he is and now he feels that somehow the Supreme Court will listen to his drivel before the Jan. 20 inauguration. Nothing is impossible, but baby it's a long shot.

Now, I'm sure after Keyes is once again laughed into obscurity, he'll pop up again giving new life to his flavor of haterade. Others will join him, and frankly people in high positions have to deal with haters as well as supporters, it's all par for the course.

But I do hope people will listen to legitimate scrutiny of Obama's job in the Oval Office rather than people who keep proving they couldn't solve the Soul Train Scramble Board.

Blogger's Note: I corrected the original statement about Jack Ryan; he was not the sitting Senator in Illinois in the 2004 race, he was the front-runner. The sitting Senator was Peter Fitzgerald, who served one term after defeating Carol Mosely Braun in 1998. You see, I can admit when I've made a mistake. But that still doesn't negate the fact that Keyes is a certified whack job and perpetual loser.

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