Some call it "bullying," but I call it emotional and physical torture. And it was school centered, emotional torture that claimed the life of 11-year-old Carl Joseph Walker Hoover last Monday. This young boy, who played football, basketball and was a Boy Scout, hanged himself when anti-gay bullying and constant harassment became too much for him to bear.
Carl Joseph Walker Hoover was so overwhelmed by bullying that he committed suicide by hanging himself with an extension cord.Source Advocate.com via nowpublic.com
His mother found his broken little body, living every parent's worst nightmare. [Carl's mother] Sirdeaner Walker, who was active at Carl Joseph's school as a member of the parent teacher organization, was aware that her son was being bullied and experienced repeated frustration at getting the administration to do anything effective about it.
Carl played football, basketball, and was a boy scout -- but that didn't stop other kids from picking on him, his mom said. Students called him gay and made fun of him for the way he dressed.
Sirdeaner Walker said she began phoning his school repeatedly when Carl first told her about the bullying last September, but she says the school was unresponsive.
Carl Joseph Walker Hoover should have been with us this Easter.
Sirdeaner Walker: It was just unbelievable to me. I thought I was in a dream. I thought I was in a nightmare. I couldn't lift him - so all I could do was scream.Source NECN.com
In the days since, Sirdeaner and her close family - have been asking the question why? They say Carl was a great kid who loved sports and was involved in many community organizations and attended church every Sunday. The answer, they believe, can be traced to the cruelty of some of his classmates at the New Leadership charter school in Springfield. Sirdeander Walker: He was being teased at the school - he was being made fun of - he was being bullied. A lot of it surrounded by "you act gay," "are you gay?"
This story hits close to home for me. So far this year, four children have killed themselves to escape bullying - but it is not a new problem.
In grade school, I was emotionally tortured so relentlessly that for two years I could not go out for recess - at all. I was accused by the neighborhood kids of "talking white" and "dressing funny". I had my right cornea split by a boy who punched me, in class, while I was seated doing class work. At eight years old, the constant assaults left me severely depressed and suicidal.
I am thankful I made it through, and that my mother and grandmother scraped together the means to move to a different neighborhood where my life got better. But moving should not have to be the only solution for kids under assault. We adults must teach our children a deeper compassion and if they can't abide by basic rules of human civility then there must be harsh and swift consequences for abusive behavior. Period.
Comments: (334)
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By: Tiffany on 4/12/2009 11:11AM
So much responsibility is being placed on schools to solve the ills of the world. What about the parents that spawned children that would be this cruel? I have several friends that are teachers/work in the school system and they all express frustration over how non responsive parents are when they are contacted about their child's bad behavior. There lies the problem. Until parents take a stand; schools and the community as a whole does not stand a chance. I think the school should have notified the parents of the bullies, but who's to say they didn't...
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By: Drew on 4/12/2009 2:51PM
It's that age old adage. Follow a stupid kid home and you will find stupid parents. These kids bullying other kids are the products of the same. Parents need to be held more accountable for the actions of their children. The want the schools to be responsible..it goes both ways.
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By: Dyn on 4/12/2009 3:51PM
The parents of these bullies are so Nonchalant because the parents are the ones to instill this hatred into their Children. I see this everyday in my Neighborhood Bedstuy Brooklyn. The parents sit on the stoop all Day with their kids and Loser friends and talk about the other Neighbors whom have productive live going to Work and School not having time for these loser.
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By: J Burton on 4/12/2009 10:34AM
I can certainly relate to being bullied on a daily basis. These bullies have no idea the damage that their constant harrassement can cause. I was bullied for years by a girl that lived on the same block that I lived on in the Bronx. It got to the point that I had to go live with an aunt that lived in Jamaica, NY just to get away from this person. Reading this story brought tears to my eyes. Fast forward years later, my son was jumped and bullied in a particular neighborhood we lived in in Maryland. He's 16 now and never goes outside because he can't relate. All he wants to do is be friends with someone, play Xbox, and just be himself, but these young men these days call you "gay" if you don't like to fight or be mean to others. Parents really ought to take the time to teach their children tolerence. It sounds corny, but for some reason it escapes so many people. I watch how some folks parent and I can only shake my head. The worse thing you can do is pass on a narrow mind. Ignorance is not always bliss.
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By: Tracy on 4/12/2009 5:21PM
This is tragic and I couldn't agree with you more! I've heard and seen some parents encourage fighting and how to be just plain mean and it makes me sick!Enough is enough!
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By: Cheryl L on 4/12/2009 7:55PM
My prayers go out to Carl Joseph Walker Hoover's family. No parent should ever have to know what it feels like to lose a child especially lose one to suicide.
This is so sad. I read all of the comments and it just saddened me to know that so many people have been subjected to bullying. When I was in school, we teased each other, but it wasn't 'mean spirited'.
I was raised to be respectful of others and if my grandmother THOUGHT that I was in school "bullying" someone, she would have beat my behind! She didn't play that.
Where are the parents like my grandmother? Why are so many parents allowing their children to be so hurtful to others? And for those parents who birthed bullies and don't know it; Then shame on you too, for not knowing what your children are doing in school.
Also, the schools cannot do it all. They shouldn't bare the responsibility of raising our kids, but they 'partner' with us and they should have taken Carl's mother's concerns a little more seriously.
A young man who had great potential is now gone way before his time because someone didn't teach their child manners and to be respectful of others.
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By: Paul Disney on 4/13/2009 6:09AM
I wasn't bullied at school by my fellow pupils but I was by my English teacher a Canadian known as 'Mr Bishop' he called me a faggot and threatened to beat me up. This was in 1976, the year I left school. He was a homophobic idealist, I didn't know what the term 'fagot' meant at that time. I now run my own successful business as a freelance journalist, least to say, no thanks to his bigoted views. Bullying does kill students and attitudes need to change.
I did try suicide, I felt my English teacher and my Catholic upbringing made me go down that road. Thank god I am still here trying to put right all those wrongs by writing for equality issues that hopefully help unfortunate victims of hate crimes.
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By: raywil3 on 4/13/2009 12:21PM
I was teased in college about not being black enough. It was very depressing. I tried very hard to fit in. I changed my style of dress. I talked different. When I had to start treating women poorly, I stopped pretending and started being me. It was hard because I was alone many times, but I could look myself in the mirror.
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By: Alonda on 4/13/2009 7:37PM
Well said!!!!!
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By: Jennifer Ellis on 4/13/2009 7:26PM
My heart and my prayers go out to the Walker family. It's sad that we live in a society that allows thing to go on like this. but parents the greates gift that you can ever give your child, is to introduce them to God. You get to know God for your self and train your children as he said we should do. Then we they are faced with situations like this, they will be better equpped to handle them. May god be with you Mrs Walker,I pray your continued strength in God. Nothing or no can take away the pain you feel,but God can help you through it. Don't try to go it alone. God is yours for the asking.
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