From the are-you-freaking-kidding-me files:

Look, tell me if I'm nuts, but I thought this was 2009, and you could marry whomever you fall in love with regardless of race. At least, I thought any judge would see it that way, right?

But apparently I'm wrong. In Tangipahoa Parish, La., a judge seems to have a problem marrying blacks and whites because of his concern with the problems of biracial children. That's right. Keith Bardwell, a justice of the peace in that town, feels that the spawn of miscegenation will eventually grow up to become social outcasts.

Or at least, that's how he feels about any children the biracially betrothed Beth Humphrey and Terence McKay would produce.

Well, the truth is, of late, biracial kids have been pretty prominent in the news. What with Falcon Heene getting mixed up (no pun intended) in his dad's kooky science experiment, then throwing up on live television the next day. Another biracial kid has been trying to fix the convoluted health care system, figure out a way to end two wars and prop up our troubled economy. But President Barack Obama hasn't puked on television yet, not to my knowledge (although he probably gets the dry heaves from time to time).

But in a way, I'm glad Justice Bardwell is so close minded, because this will open up a new door in the marriage argument and put new energy behind determining once and for all that each and every person has the right to be with whomever they want no matter who it is.

So no, I'm not going to make this about gay marriage, but I am going to make it about the 14th Amendment. Just in case you weren't paying attention in civics class, here it is again:

Section. 1. All persons born or naturalized in the United States and subject to the jurisdiction thereof, are citizens of the United States and of the State wherein they reside. No State shall make or enforce any law which shall abridge the privileges or immunities of citizens of the United States; nor shall any State deprive any person of life, liberty, or property, without due process of law; nor deny to any person within its jurisdiction the equal protection of the laws.

This means that if you're an American citizen, no matter who you are, you have the right to due process of law in this country, under which marriage falls, in every single state territory and protectorate of the union.

So what his judgeship did, in his wisdom that stretches back to the 1850s, was quite unconstitutional. What's worse, he's got a long record of sending other mixed race couples to other judges, because he refused to marry them.

The framers of the Constitution would probably have been looked at as conservatives these days, but their genius was that this country would only work if people were basically free to do what they wanted to do, even if other people don't like what they are doing.

Basically, what Jefferson, Madison, Hancock and the gang were saying is if it falls under the rules that we're putting down on this piece of paper, then it's law. If youve got a problem, then mind your damn business and keep your opinions out of it.

Bardwell clearly violated this law. He has every right to have disdain for interracial couples, but as an agent of the government, he is obligated to apply its rules to each and every citizen of the country. And you know who agrees with me? Louisiana Gov. Bobby Jindal, who wants to can the judge for applying archaic points of view to 2009 society.

Now what I'm hoping is that this incident will put gay marriage back on the front burner. In an earlier post, I actually advocated getting the government out of the marriage business in the first place. What I'd suggest is just granting civil unions in every circumstance. It's the only fair thing, really, and it makes it so that marriage itself is a concern only of the two enamored parties, who are the only people who should be all up in the Kool-Aid because only they know the flavor.