Jarell Damonte (aka J-Boog) of B2K (pictured second from the right) was arrested yesterday on charges of "corporal punishment on a spouse," as well as outstanding warrants related to his driving record. J-Boog, who is unmarried and reportedly still dating the mother of his child, was arrested at his home in Los Angeles.Neighbors reported hearing screaming coming from the house and later saw six to seven police cars arrive at the home. The commotion lasted for about an hour before J-Boog was led away.

The situation with Chris Brown and Rihanna brought domestic violence to the forefront of issues that matter most to African Americans. According to a study done by the University of Pennsylvania School of Communication, 64.8 percent of African Americans view domestic violence as one of the most serious problems in our community. Additionally, 42.9 percent of the 405 African Americans surveyed in the study stated that they knew a woman who'd been physically abused by her husband. Roughly one in three African American women are abused by their husband or partner in their lifetime. Also, black women are more than twice as likely as other American women to be killed at the hands of an abuser.

Here are some quick thoughts on domestic violence that both men and women must remember:

1) Violence has no place in a relationship. If you are tempted to express yourself physically, just understand that you are opening a can of worms that you may not be able to close very easily. If your partner decides to be physical, you should immediately remove yourself from the situation.

2) If you are being abused, tell someone and get help. You don't have to go through this alone. Remaining silent about abuse is one way to give even more power to your abuser. Talk with someone.

3) Get to know your potential partner before giving him/her too much trust. People can usually tell us exactly who they are if we simply take the time to listen. But in some cases, fancy cars, good looks or smooth words can cause us to overlook the obvious.

4) Watch out, young brothers, this can ruin your life: One thing that people tend to forget is that if the police show up to the house of a couple during a domestic disturbance, the man is usually the one who will be sent to jail. Once you are caught up in the system, you become like millions of other black men who are balancing court dates, restraining orders and threats of reincarceration over minor violations. So, if you are dating a vindictive woman who may lie to police, you should be careful. Also, even justifiable physical activity for a man could lead to incarceration. I'll say this again: if you are in a relationship that gets physical, remove yourself from the situation. The cops aren't going to listen to your stories.

Dr. Towanna Freeman, a leading advocate for young women, gave this advice when warning a friend about getting out of an abusive relationship:


1. Tell your friend, "I see what is going on."

2. Tell your friend, "Abuse is not their fault and it is not normal."

3. Tell your friend, "You deserve a healthy non-violent relationship."

4. Tell your friend, "The number to the National Domestic Violence Hotline is 1-800-799-7233."

5. Ask your friend, "How can I help support you?"

When I was in college, I saw a 19-year-old college student viciously beating his 16-year-old girlfriend every other day. She would go in to the boy's dorm room and come out an hour later with a trail of blood beneath her feet. No one knew if we should get involved, but when the police came, I broke my silence. Although the woman was denying it, I told the police everything I'd seen, because I could not watch this young girl take the daily beatings she was receiving.

The next time the young girl saw me, she said, "You need to mind your own &*^% business!"

I was admittedly hurt that the woman attacked me for trying to protect her. But to be honest, I would do it all over again. There is no room for domestic violence in any healthy relationship.
Dr. Boyce Watkins is the founder of the Your Black World Coalition. To have Dr. Boyce's commentary delivered to your e-mail, please click here.