White Mother Fears for Biracial Child

It would be safe to say that almost all American adults have thoughts about the state of race relations in the United States. That's well, good and important, but there are both informed and uninformed opinions. If the discussion is grounded in a thorough understanding of racial dynamics throughout American history, how the treatment of blacks (and other people of color) has shaped our nation and the power and prevalence of institutional racism in our society today, then at least strong arguments can be made by both parties who may ultimately agree to disagree.

There is no such insight in an unsettling essay over at Lemondrop. In it, a white mother expecting to give birth to a biracial child basically blames the inability of some white people to deal with race honestly, intelligently and with integrity on the "fear" of black people calling them on racism. Here's an excerpt from Colleen Oakley's essay:

Being called racist in today's society is almost as bad as being called a baby killer. Just look at Trent Lott and Imus. Yes, the comments they made were incredibly offensive: Imus (in)famously referred to the black members of a women's college basketball team as "nappy-headed hos," as recently as 2007.

But instead of taking the opportunity to turn a negative into a positive -- discussing the comments and why they were offensive, we stamped "racist" on their foreheads and shipped them away so as not to blemish our politically correct landscape.

In an effort not to be labeled racist, white people often walk on eggshells, uncomfortable and unsure of what to say to a black person. In fact, in a 2008 study on race, when a white person was interviewed by a black person on racial issues they reported higher levels of anxiety than when they were interviewed by a white person. This effectively kills real communication, and true understanding -- the cornerstones of what is needed for our country to truly become post-racial. Source: My Worst Fear as a Mother-to-Be? A Burning Cross on Our Front Lawn, Colleen Oakley, Lemondrop.com

At first after reading Oakley's essay, I was just stunned that yet another white person would have the gall to characterize America's reaction to Trent Lott longing for the days of Jim Crow and America's reaction to a powerful and influential radio host going for the jugular of female champion student-athletes, as a bow to "political correctness." That "positive" she hoped for would be where exactly? Oakley even suggests that there was little discussion of the incidents she references.

Does she live in a cave? Does she read newspapers, magazines, blogs? Does she listen to radio or watch cable news? If so, how could she not recall how the Lott and Don Imus incidents dominated our national dialogue for weeks? Sorry, Oakley, no "real communication" was killed by scary black folks in those instances. And trust, most of us have an accurate and "true understanding" of what Trent Lott stands for.

And as far as whites "walking on eggshells," why is it up to black people to make white people feel "comfortable" in order to have honest racial conversations? Guess what? Sometimes people make racist statements and people of conscience, of all colors, should address those statements as they occur. Why do people like Oakley insinuate that the concern over being called a racist is more important to white folks than confronting and dismantling actual racism as it lives and breathes in our society?

Oakley expresses concern that her biracial child will grow up in a community that lacks racial diversity. What I say to Oakley is that if you teach your child correctly at home, and work to create a diverse community of friends and loved ones, then he or she will be well-equipped to deal with anything that occurs on the outside. I sincerely hope Oakley educates herself on the longstanding racial dynamics of this country and walks into racial discussions with at least as many questions as she thinks she has answers.