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I know sometimes we are all a sucker for a good beat, a nice melody and a sweet voice. A current song that has recently made its way to the top of the charts, though, has got to be the worst thing to happen to women since stiletto heels. When I first heard this tune, I wasn't familiar with Melanie Fiona (pictured above). I just knew that every time I heard the pathetic, desperate lyrics, I was disgusted.
It's been a long time since I heard a song by a woman that was so destructive to the empowerment of sisterhood. Fiona's song is basically, the desperate, pathetic woman's anthem. Forget self-esteem, forget independent thought, forget doing what's best for you, Fiona loudly proclaims about 15 times a day, every day, on the radio that it's really about a warm body. Forget demanding that you be treated with respect, as long as he comes home eventually, it's all good.
Fiona's song unfortunately tells young women that agonizing over a no-good man, who is clearly bad for you, is not only reasonable but is a true indicator of "love." It proclaims to the rooftops that having a dirty dog of a boyfriend is okay, and you just have to deal with it as best you can.
And as if we don't have enough problems with families in the black community, now here comes a woman who shamelessly declares that she also wants to have babies with this man, who admittedly treats her badly. He cheats, they fight, he doesn't come home -- sounds like the perfect man to father your babies, Melanie.
At some point we must all take responsibility for the messages we are promulgating to our young people about life and relationships and choices. Can we be that surprised that our young women allow themselves to be treated poorly and then add insult to injury by having children with awful men in the name of love? We wonder why our ladies come home with idiots and thugs who can't string a sentence together or who abuse them or otherwise disrespect them? We wonder why so many young women blamed Rihanna. Well, I have one place to start looking for answers: the radio. Yes, Fiona, you've gotta be out your mind.
'It Kills Me' by Melanie Fiona:
Comments: (389)
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By: rossgirlme on 2/25/2010 11:53AM
THANK YOU!!!!!!!!!! I am so glad that someone else hates this stupid song as much as I do. I saw Mel Fiona on Monique talking about she just wants to do music that matters. Anytime you are promoting a message that says "He dogs me and theres nothing I can do about it", you are not setting yourself up to be relevant in the long term. I personally liked her debut song, but this single stopped me from buying the album.
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By: carla ford on 2/25/2010 12:30PM
Thank You-this song promotes every negative stereotype about black women; let's take a look:
-he's no good but she wants to have his baby
-he lies & cheats, but she doesn't want to be alone
-she debates calling the other woman to act a fool over someone that doesn't respect her
-he doesnt come home @ night and when he does, he starts fights
And this is supposed to be a mature woman? Giving girls the green light to be needy, desperate trouble makers...way to go Fiona
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By: norma j on 2/25/2010 12:45PM
I have to say I agree wholeheartly. That song is just awful. It has a good beat and she has a good voice, but the lyrics are disgraceful. We should not be sending that kind of message to our young people.
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By: Tmop5683 on 2/25/2010 8:41PM
OMG!!! Lighten up a bit.... I have read the replys and the song is simply expressing what many women go through on a daily. So please don't blame the player... blame the game... In other words don't blame the one that sings and writes blame the one the DOES!!!
Just my thoughts....
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By: TDH85 on 2/26/2010 10:42AM
AH please spare me all the whining. She's only keeping it real, you know, telling it like it is... Women do this shit EVERYDAY (not all women, but most women). I can't count how many female friends I have had to counsel in that situation. I stopped doing it because they don't effin listen and it urks me and it ends up being a waste of my time.
End of the day, it's just a song... Kinda like Keyshia Cole's I shoulda cheated
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By: photochic on 2/26/2010 12:11PM
WOW! Obviously you guys have not heard the rest of the album where she tells the guy to beat it. It is ONE song of many on the album that tells an entire story. To Mr. Donaldson and the readers try listening to the WHOLE album before passing judgment.
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By: pugz on 2/27/2010 12:30AM
this way of thinking is why COPS has been a top show for 20 yrs, the U.S. has one of the highest teen pregnancy rates in the civilized world, and many of those kids never even meet their fathers, let alone have an intimate, parental relationship with them.
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By: Ryan on 2/27/2010 5:35AM
Spare me the "i'm a strong black woman" pretense, please. Because, funnily enough, it's the women (like you) who express anger, and disagreement over the web, that are in many cases the women this song is describing. It's an everyday occurence. Only women who've TRULY been in a relationship, with a man they TRULY loved, would TRULY understand these lyrics! I'm not saying it's not an irresponsible message, but, c'mon. It's the truth. In womean of ALL races!!!!!! Be real with yourselves! It happens when you're least expecting it, with SOMEONE (the very man you thought you could trust) you wouldn't expect it from! Believe me, it cuts both ways. My first love betrayed me, after I was the one who took her virginity! Then she wondered why I refused to take her back! lol smh
Most women/artists wouldn't have what it took to sing a song from the soul, like Melanie Fiona has. She's just speaking the truth. Don't knock her for that.
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By: Malik on 2/27/2010 10:44PM
I have heard the song but never listen to the words. However, the song ain't the problem its some womens choice in men.
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By: Cransha on 2/28/2010 1:04AM
Wow! IT KILLED ME TO READ HOW EASY YOU CAN DEMEAN AN UP AND COMING NEW BLACK FEMALE ARTIST WITH SUCCESS! And I thought songs were about telling stories about life experiences or, what a minute, possibly fiction! If I had a dollar for every time I heard a song that was pathetic...WITH THE LEVEL OF HIP HOP DISGRACE OUT HERE NOW...I'd be rich enough to write my own condescending article. Melanie Fiona sang a song that was on 2008's Reggae Gold (Somebody Come Get Me) which talked about her man cheating and that if somebody doesn't get her, she's going to kill him with a knife or a gun. Would you then be on your high horse about her promoting violence like say....these "rappers?" Doubt it. What about Beyonce's "EGO?" And I love her. Jazmine Sullivan's (love her, too) breaking personal property...Yea, that's ok. They're all taking a stand for strength! Take it for what it is, A song about A woman who loves A man no matter WHAT he does. Just like country music, it ends after the sad story. Move on.
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