Barack Is Like Beyonce for Men

Beyonce, Barack Obama

Finally, there is a man who makes men feel the exact way we women feel about Beyonce.

Wait, hear me out now.

Most women feel (though some may not admit it-haters) that Beyonce is this sickeningly perfect example of womanhood, and frankly we're sick of it. She makes you shift in your seat whenever you have to watch her in the presence of your significant other. Your man tries not to ogle her openly, but he rarely succeeds.

She can do no wrong-- she's beautiful and seems like a nice girl. There are no naughty lesbian rumors about her or diva-bitch-stories we can use to make ourselves feel better. No weight problem, no drug addiction, no abusive ex-husband, no teen love baby. You scour every picture for flaws, nothing. I don't care how high your self-esteem is, she's the woman you never want to be in the same room with. Because, you know, that as much as your man loves you, he will not be able to resist the magnetic pull of his eyes toward her. We women seem doomed to co-exist with this sexy, talented, freak of nature who constantly reminds us of the cellulite on the back of our thighs.

But now we finally have company. Thanks to President Barack Obama! Barack is a man's Beyonce.

Now men know how it feels to always be measured against the exceptional. Barack is like Beyonce for men. The man who makes men shift uncomfortably in their seats when they have to watch their woman watch him. Ahhh..poetic justice. Barack Obama is this frighteningly perfect example of manhood. Handsome, smart, elegant, eloquent, cool, sexy. No pot belly, no random kids or baby mamas, Ivy league educated, down for his community. And, much like Beyonce, if you say anything bad about Barack, we'll all call you a hater.

I remember attending the Presidential Inauguration and looking on with such glee as the presence of Beyonce, Jay-Z, Diddy and a bunch of movie stars in their VIP seats, were practically a non-event in the presence of Barack Obama. Obama made me forget why Diddy was even famous. He made the usually cooler than ice Jay-Z look like a straight zero. All the biggest celebrities of Hollywood and Washington may as well have been paid extras on a big budget set. Get the hell outta here, real man coming through.

Obama is the man that walks in and immediately sucks all the air out of the room. I don't care how much you love your man, you will not be able to resist the magnetic force of your eyeballs roaming toward President Obama, if he's nearby. Women want to be with him, men want to be him. Men, you FINALLY now know how it feels to have to live alongside an impossible standard. When you see him do that cool black man walk up to a podium or through the rose garden, you just can't help but say, "Damn!" And best of all, he doesn't need ass or lip shots to make the point. We would all take him, cigarettes and all.

Obama can read the phone book, and we're all transfixed. He'll be considered sexy and distinguished when he's old and gray - long after Beyonce has come and gone in that limited window of sexiness that all female pop stars are slaves to.

In no way am I comparing their accomplishments, because we all know that would be a very short conversation as they are not even in the same league. Instead, I am comparing their unique abilities to touch us and attract us and make us almost unable to remove our gaze from them.

So join the club, men. Welcome to the world of unachievable expectations! Because, as we women have known for a long time, no matter how fabulous you think you are, how smart you consider yourself to be or how talented you consider yourself, let's face it: there's only one Beyonce and now (Thank you, Lawdie!), there's only one Barack Obama.

Peace people.