Last month, I wrote about the story of Zara Malani-Lin Abdur-Raheem. Zara was the infant who was allegedly thrown in a river in New Jersey by her father, Shamsid-Din Abdur-Raheem. According to police, the father allegedly took his 3-month-old daughter out of the arms of her grandmother in an East Orange apartment and threw her off a highway bridge. He then turned himself in to police after consulting with his local imam.
Abdur-Raheem, a 21-year-old resident of Galloway Township, pleaded not guilty to murder and additional charges. He is being held on $2.7 million bail. The body was found in the Raritan River on April 24. The clothing on the body matched the descriptions given to police when the child disappeared.
The mother of the child was actually seeking a restraining order against the father on the day the incident took place. Therefore, there appears to have been a pattern of threats or violence in the relationship. Unfortunately, the mother was not able to get the order executed until after the child's father committed his heinous act.
This situation reflects a broader pattern of domestic violence across America, which affects millions of Americans every day. According to the National Domestic Violence Hotline, you may be in an abusive relationship if your partner:
Calls you names, insults you or continually criticizes you.
Does not trust you and acts jealous or possessive.
Tries to isolate you from family or friends.
Monitors where you go, who you call and who you spend time with.
Does not want you to work.
Controls finances or refuses to share money.
Punishes you by withholding affection.
Expects you to ask permission.
Threatens to hurt you, the children, your family or your pets.
Humiliates you in any way.
What is most interesting about this list is that there are millions of women who do this to their spouses, so nearly anyone could be an abuser. If you are in an abusive relationship, please seek help before it is too late. No one has the right to treat you this way, and an abusive spouse may also be a threat to your children.
30-Apr-10 - Now a year has passed and Grey's Anatomy star Aasha Davis sister's body has still not been found, but police think they've caught the woman's killer: her husband, Davis's brother-in-law, Lyle Herring, Sr., who was arrested Wednesday.
30-Apr-10 - Now a year has passed and Grey's Anatomy star Aasha Davis sister's body has still not been found, but police think they've caught the woman's killer: her husband, Davis's brother-in-law, Lyle Herring, Sr., who was arrested Wednesday.
29-Apr-10 - First, it was Angelina Jolie and Brad Pitt. Then it was Madonna. Now Sandra Bullock has joined the collective of celebrities adopting black babies.
27-Apr-10 - Michael Jackson's mother has asked ex-daughter-in-law Alejandra Genevieve Oaziaza and her four children to vacate the premises by next week.
26-Apr-10 - Radio show host Rush Limbaugh responded harshly to critics who have accused him of being seditious with his words. In other words, Limbaugh has been accused of causing acts of rebellion and disrespect for authority by those who are unhappy with the recent actions of the federal government.
23-Apr-10 - The police, county sheriff, and federal investigators are all investigating the death of white supremacist Richard Barrett, lawyer, white nationalist and self-proclaimed leader in the skinhead movement. Barrett's neighbors called the fire department when they noticed his home was ablaze. His body was found inside his Pearl, Miss., home on Thursday morning. Firemen discovered Barrett's body inside the home. Investigators initially speculated that it was likely the flames of hell that killed him. Okay, not really.
23-Apr-10 - One of the quietest members of the Jackson clan, oldest sister Rebbie, recently sat down with Matt Lauer on the 'Today' show to talk about coping with the death of her brother Michael.
22-Apr-10 - Allen E. Brown delivered an early Mother's Day present that no one in the family will ever forget. He is sending his mother, Tecora Brown, on a one-way trip to prison after telling authorities of her involvement in a New Jersey prostitution ring.
21-Apr-10 - The Arizona House of Representatives recently approved a provision requiring President Barack Obama to prove that he is a natural-born citizen before the state agrees to place him on the ballot in 2012. He must have his birth certificate approved by the state's attorney general in order to run in the next election.
20-Apr-10 - Fulton County District Attorney Paul Howard has reversed course, dropping voluntary manslaughter charges against the strip club manager charged in the death of A.J. Jewell, former fiance of 'Real Housewives of Atlanta' cast member Kandi Burruss.
19-Apr-10 - Just when you thought he could not get any more ridiculous, last week hate radio host Rush Limbaugh talked about the eruption of the unpronounceable Icelandic volcano.
HONESTLY, THE GUY IS A SICKO HE SHOULD HAD JUMP OFF THE BRIDGE AND DROWNED!!!! INSTEAD OF KILLING HIS FLESH AND BLOOD THAT HIM AND HIS WIFE MADE. THE BABY WAS A GIFT FROM GOD! HE WILL BE PUNISHED. HE DESTROYED A PRECIOUS GIFT THAT GOD GAVE HIM. AND HE WILL REGRET EVERY BIT OF IT. THEY SHOULD PUT HIM UNDER THE JAIL CELL!!!!!!!
Deborah, the only way this man will ever regret what he did is to get help. It's obvious that he is dealing with mental instabilities beyond his control. I am not attempting to make excuses for him, it's just that a normal stable minded person who have never done what he did. I wish peace for him as well as for his daughter's family.
I've followed your writings for awhile, but, rarely do you comment on domestic abuse by women. I'm a grandmother in Las Vegas that has spent over 100,000 on a situation that could have been avoided by our judicial system. A father that asked for protection for himself and his kids and was refused by the judge. Read about my situation in the Las Vegas Tribune. I think you're brilliant and enjoy your writing style.
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Dr. Boyce Watkins is the founder of the Your Black World Coalition and the author of the new book 'Black American Money.' To have Dr. Boyce's commentary delivered to your e-mail, please click here. 
Comments: (7)
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By: deborah on 5/05/2010 9:45AM
HONESTLY, THE GUY IS A SICKO HE SHOULD HAD JUMP OFF THE BRIDGE AND DROWNED!!!! INSTEAD OF KILLING HIS FLESH AND BLOOD THAT HIM AND HIS WIFE MADE. THE BABY WAS A GIFT FROM GOD! HE WILL BE PUNISHED. HE DESTROYED A PRECIOUS GIFT THAT GOD GAVE HIM. AND HE WILL REGRET EVERY BIT OF IT. THEY SHOULD PUT HIM UNDER THE JAIL CELL!!!!!!!
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By: juana on 5/05/2010 11:53AM
Deborah, the only way this man will ever regret what he did is to get help. It's obvious that he is dealing with mental instabilities beyond his control. I am not attempting to make excuses for him, it's just that a normal stable minded person who have never done what he did. I wish peace for him as well as for his daughter's family.
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By: deborah on 5/05/2010 9:46AM
BABY ZARA R.I.P MY SYMPATHY GOES OUT TO THE MOM AND ALL THEIR FAMILIES!
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By: Curretta on 5/05/2010 11:08AM
RIP Zara kno ur loved n will b missed..my heart goes out to the family n friends
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By: MZZTLOVE on 5/05/2010 8:13PM
FINALLY YOU WRITE SOMETHING WORTH READING!!
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By: Bahati Sobukwe on 5/07/2010 2:37PM
MZZTLOVE, ARE YOU OK? IT IS RARE THAT WE FIND A BLOG THAT SPEAKS THE TRUTH ABOUT THE CONCERNS OF AFRICANS.
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By: melody nelson on 5/05/2010 10:08PM
I've followed your writings for awhile, but, rarely do you comment on domestic abuse by women. I'm a grandmother in Las Vegas that has spent over 100,000 on a situation that could have been avoided by our judicial system. A father that asked for protection for himself and his kids and was refused by the judge. Read about my situation in the Las Vegas Tribune. I think you're brilliant and enjoy your writing style.
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