
When I recently read the open letter to the rapper Slim Thug (pictured above), written by Columbia Professor Marc Lamont Hill (pictured below) at TheLoop21.com, I was concerned. I love "Slim Thugger" and his musical brilliance, but putting him in an intellectual toe-to-toe with one of the most brilliant young scholars in America is like putting Lennox Lewis in a boxing match with Beyonce. Marc is my boy, and incredibly sharp, and I would encourage him to pick on someone his own intellectual size. Simultaneously, I encourage Slim Thug to quietly walk away and shut up. He needs to stay in the booth and use his free time for something other than ridiculous social commentary.
Related Article: Talib Kweli: Rapper Replies to Slim Thug's Comments on Black Women
But Slim Thug asked for his public butt whooping, after engaging in one of the most feeble and misguided critiques of the African-American woman that I've heard in quite a while. Even for a rapper, he sounded as if he needed to be educated on what black women are all about. Here are Slim's words, "straight out of the negro's mouth":
...Most single Black women feel like they don't want to settle for less. Their standards are too high right now. They have to understand that successful Black men are kind of extinct. We're important. It's hard to find us so Black women have to bow down and let it be known that they gotta start working hard; they gotta start cooking and being down for they man more. They can't just be running around with their head up in the air and passing all of us.
I have a brother that dates a White woman and he always be f*cking with me about it saying, 'Y'all gotta go through all that shit [but] my White woman is fine. She don't give me no problems, she do whatever I say and y'all gotta do all that arguing and fighting and worry about all this other sh*t.'...
The truth is that Slim is not nearly as goofy as he sounds in that interview, but rappers sometimes force themselves to sound dumb in order to sell more records. Second, Slim possesses neither the moral authority, nor the mental precision to make his critique in an appropriate manner. Finally, he needs a translator, someone who could re-word his statement in "Black Scholar-ese," so that he and Dr. Hill can have an intelligent conversation about the important issue of black relationships.
Dr. Hill was typically sharp and articulate in the way he verbally "chopped and screwed" the Houston-based rapper:
In your interview, you talk about how much better white women treat their partners than black women. If what you're saying is true, why do Whites have the highest divorce rate of any group? Do white men get tired of being treated like kings? In reality, it seems that you are buying in to (and selling) a stale but dangerous ideal that constructs White women as ultra-feminine, loving, queens, and Black women as angry, selfish, and untrustworthy hoes.
Even more disturbing was your comment that "Black women gotta start being down for their man more." Since slavery, Black women have had to withstand rape, torture, and humiliation (from both white and black men) in order to sustain their families. Now, in 2010, 1 in 3 Black men between 20 and 29 years old are incarcerated or otherwise under criminal supervision. Every day, Black women are raising children without men in the house, working multiple jobs (for less pay!), and supporting brothers as they finish their prison bids.

The painful truth is that there is a place for Slim's remarks, since we all know that black relationships and black families are broken. While one must certainly agree with Dr. Hill's statements about much of the good within the black female community, we can't presume that every black woman in America is "holdin it down" while her man is in prison or currently enduring the lasting pain of the rape and torture of her ancestors. Just like men, some women can be less than perfect, and we all know that. Also, Dr. Hill's open letter to Slim Thug should also include an open letter to commercialized hip hop, which has turned the degradation of black women into a multi-billion dollar industry. I often wonder, however, why many of these albums are being purchased by black women themselves. But I digress.
Black men and women have decided not to marry each other and this is hurting our children. Rather than writing the entire debate off to "those brothers are trifling" or "all the sisters are messed up," perhaps it makes sense to be real in this discussion and talk about the issues.
What Slim Thug was trying (but unable) to say is this:
Some, not all, black women remain single for long periods of time, in spite of the fact that they have many viable male options. Our society does them no favors by presenting one news story after another about why black men are no good or why "good" black men are non-existent.
Most of us know a beautiful, intelligent, 30-something black woman who swears she can't find a man, in spite of the fact that she might likely know several men who would marry her at the drop of a dime. In some cases, her perception of the perfect man is elevated to the point that every man she meets misses the mark (except for unavailable ones).
Many black women grow up without a father in the home, which makes it difficult for some of them to figure out how to relate to a man. There is a way that a man wants to be addressed, treated and loved. Rather than learning how to engage with a man in a way that makes him comfortable, some see suggested behavioral modification as an affront to their independence and personal freedom.
In other words, "It's not my job to make you feel good about yourself!" Sorry my dear, but if you're my wife, then it is your job to make me feel good as a man, the same way it's my job to make you feel like a beautiful woman. The same way men are expected to adjust their behavior in order to get women to have sex with them, women might be asked to do the same in order to get men to want to marry them. It's a simple trade-off, and relationships require compromise and empathy that many of us are unwilling to provide.
Many black men, on the other hand, did not have a father in the home either, which causes them to miss out on the chance to learn how to be men. My biological father abandoned me when I was a baby, which led to my mother teaching me all the wrong things about being a man, since she didn't know how to be one.
When my step father came along and taught me simple things, though, it made all the difference in the world. Without his guidance, I would never have learned that a man never abandons his children and that a man makes sacrifices for his family, even if he is not personally comfortable. Instead, I might have been like a lot of men I know, making babies and not taking care of them, and looking for the easy way out of everything.
Black men and black women need to take the time to learn about each other. I suggest that anyone planning to get married read at least two books and take a class on how to make relationships work. The truth is that the toughness that black women have had to embrace for centuries can translate in to the inability to trust to make one lovable enough for a healthy relationship.
Simultaneously, the abuses black men have endured due to slavery and oppression can sometimes make us weak, unfocused and overly reliant upon black women to do the things that we need to do. While some can argue that many black women are psychologically damaged, most of that damage typically comes at the hands of a black man in her life. While we can point to millions of black men who engage in irresponsible behavior, though, we must all remember that most of these black men were raised by black women.
The chicken and the egg have worked together to create a very nasty omelette, and this has led to millions of highly dysfunctional relationships within the African-American community.
The "all black women are queens" approach is ultimately incorrect and does a disservice to black women, some of whom may need to really study the psychological hurdles that come with being raised without a father in the home. If I'd grown up without my mother, I wouldn't have a clue about how to treat women. The same parallel would be true for a woman who never learned "how to deal with daddy in the house." Also, the approach that says, "all black women are evil" is flawed as well, especially coming from Slim Thug, a guy who seems to expect women to bow at his feet, because he has money and isn't in jail. We are all to blame for this mess.
Read Talib Kweli's Response to Slim Thug here.
Dr. Boyce Watkins is the founder of the Your Black World Coalition and a Scholarship in Action Resident of the Institute for Black Public Policy. To have Dr. Boyce commentary delivered to your email, please click here. 

Comments: (100)
Add a comment
By: alie on 6/09/2010 9:41AM
Something happened to us after MLK got shot we were rising to the top simple lets restore family families it's a new day it's a new dawn, lets stop calling each other out start with not using the N-Word at each other that's a start, look at the Obama family they made it both sides one step as Dr Boyce said Father no where on the scene Mother was a single mum for a time, yes they were on welfare for a time, other side Mum & Dad happily married stable background both parents did the right thing had examples set by leaders MLK and others who showed them that if you want anything in this life you have to work hard for it, want's wrong with that? today the young want everything know they don't want to wait and do things the hard way, why? poverty trap? social surroundings won't allow it? these are things some of us have to battle with before we even step out the door, and when you do what do you face more obstacles, i can understand many just want to get out the hood as one rapper famously said on Bet hip-hop v America show me out to get out of the hood because I am F???? hurting out here? it's a battle just to survive out here.
Lets make a start by stop calling each other the N-Word we are so talented so talented use that talent for something positive we have good role models we should have no more excuses remember what Obama say when they won despite all the obstacles and scheism thrown at us YES WE CAN we broke through the glass ceiling.
Reply to this Comment | Report This
By: Divine Prodigy on 6/10/2010 6:09PM
"What's true love?" "Love is the soul's recognition of it's counterpart in another." Those are the words of Owen Wilson from the movie "Wedding Crashers." When we look at the state of the American family today, the dating game has become a battle ground between men and women that has gotten so contested we have gone from not being able to get together and stay together, to now not even being able to "get together" anymore. What is the price of love?
In this materialistic society we live in, many of today's men and women choose the people they want in their lives by looking at things that have nothing to do with who "we" are as people, but instead by "what we have." With today's so-called "Pastors/Motivational Speakers" constantly driving home messages to women in their audiences to basically "find yourself a sugar daddy" it's no wonder the relationship gap between men and women is getting bigger. To give you a classic example of this I have provided a quote from "Dr" Jamal H. Bryant: "I often warn women who are contemplating marriage to marry someone who can take care of them. When a woman marries, it ought to be to someone who is capable of taking her to the next level. If she comes from poverty, there is no reason for her to get married and still be impoverished. The role of the man is to take her to another place....." Really? And what place might that be? By making sure your credit is good enough to put yourself in debt for the next 30 years by trying to pay off a mortgage which by the time you do(If you pay it off, which you probably won't) you will have paid 5 times what the initial investment cost you in the beginning? Is that the place you're talking about? If you really want to be technical, the day you are honestly prepared to buy a house is the day you can cut out the middle man, go straight to the mortgage company and give them $500,000 for a house that costs $500,000. Not the day your credit score meets the banks requirements. Not only that, but you can also afford to purchase the land that the house is built on. America is in a RECESSION now for two reasons: 1. Because of greed from these financial institutions, 2.
The American people buying into the system and using it as a means to live what we all have been taught to call the "American Dream." These so called "Motivational Speakers" keep focusing on the material possessions of a man and teaching women to use them as a measuring stick to determine if he is a suitable soul mate when what they should be teaching women is how to measure the depth of a man's character. Where is it guaranteed anywhere that a man who is "financially secure" will commit to marry, be a good husband, and a good father? Where is it guaranteed that he'll honor his responsibilities to both his family and to his neighbors? What about his duty to live in harmony with the earth? These are things that can't be determined by the size of a man's pay check. They can however, be determined by his character as a human being.
Apparently many African Americans have this "bug" about being accepted in the eyes of society's elite circles to the point that you can see it coming from a mile away. Especially when it comes to trying to attract members of the opposite sex. When sisters turn black men down left and right from being brain-washed by these "pastors" and "motivational speakers" who constantly tell them the same BS mentioned above by "Dr" Bryant, black men in turn will do whatever they can to make themselves look the part even if they can't financially "play" it. They will overload themselves with unnecessary debt by buying things that their "credit report" will allow them to in order to gain the approval of the women they are interested in. And just for the record, lets say a woman meets and marries a man who is making a 6 figure income. 3 years later he gets laid-off from his job. Does that mean the woman is supposed to exit stage right and find another money bag to latch on to? It seems that's the implication since the main ingredient for bringing the two together from her perspective is him being in a position to be able to "provide" for her.
If love don't cost a think, why does it carry a price tag? It's time for us as a people to stop living our lives according to the standards of other people's opinions and start living by our own. Many of these so called "motivational speakers" are causing more damage than good to the minds of the people they claim to be helping. I also have never been a fan of people who carry titles like "Dr" and "Professor" in religious circles because the true definition of their job doesn't warrant the need for them to carry one. The only thing they should be seen as is a friend, or a brother.
In this day and age many women are telling men they meet that they need "stability"and can't be with a man who is not financially on their "level." I think Marilyn Monroe said it best with a quote that provides an appropriate answer to this shallow line of thinking: "If you can't be with me when I'm at my worst, you don't deserve to have me at my best." The true measure of a man is the depth of his "character." Not the size of his wallet.
Report This
By: VERSAINT on 6/11/2010 7:21PM
I personally do not agree with this expression "NEGRO's MOUTH" because WORDS aren't belong to any kind of skin color, but ultimately, In side of Darck-hearts there are so many beautiful and amazing abstractions, but require the smatness and clear minds to dertermine them. As well as the momentum requests for so may reasons the reasonably educated folks to train, not only for the social differences, but for less frustration or worse! "In side of Darck-hearts there are so many beautiful and amazing abstractions that require the smartness and clear minds to determine them." Then, America will be more blessed!!!
Report This
By: Byronn Smith on 6/19/2010 7:33PM
alot in hip hop has changed in most of my rap and the people I group with have toned down the use of any foul language. It sounds more ignorant and as if we are still angry (for what). Alot has changed so the use of profanity really has toned down compared to the 90s
Report This
By: alie on 6/09/2010 9:42AM
Why don't they send an open letters to all the rappers Male & Female that would be a start!
Reply to this Comment | Report This
By: missslky on 6/11/2010 8:44AM
A black man, but alone; a white lady, but life is not that nice. Desire a mingle of black and white? That's what _________ **** B l a c k w h i t e C u p i d . c o m ***** ______is dedicated to do. It takes only a few minutes to submit a profile which, however, might change your whole life. [== B l a c k w h i t e C u p i d . c o m_] recommend it here= - [B l a c k w h i t e C u p i d . c o m]
Report This
By: Daniella on 6/09/2010 11:52AM
Slim thug is just another black man that has self hate issues. He needs to get an education
Reply to this Comment | Report This
By: Rodney on 6/10/2010 1:22AM
The truth hurts Daniella, this has been going on to long and it's time to change and it also goes for the Black Men too. We as a Black race have been sell'in ourselfs cheap for Hip-Hop wanna-be and video chick, really...woman today don't look sexy and the pants hangin, big woman, small woman in tight jean and top looks nasty to me. I could go on and on with this, but read between the lines.
Report This
By: ralph on 6/10/2010 1:43PM
Slim thug don't need to get an education for what he said. The only problem about what he said that tripped me out is, black women like thugs anyway until they're ready to get married, so I can't figure out would he be having problems meeting up to black women's standards?
Report This
By: janee on 6/10/2010 9:16PM
He's a male,an ignorant one at that. I wouldn't give him the title of a man.
Report This