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When I recently read the open letter to the rapper Slim Thug (pictured above), written by Columbia Professor Marc Lamont Hill (pictured below) at TheLoop21.com, I was concerned. I love "Slim Thugger" and his musical brilliance, but putting him in an intellectual toe-to-toe with one of the most brilliant young scholars in America is like putting Lennox Lewis in a boxing match with Beyonce. Marc is my boy, and incredibly sharp, and I would encourage him to pick on someone his own intellectual size. Simultaneously, I encourage Slim Thug to quietly walk away and shut up. He needs to stay in the booth and use his free time for something other than ridiculous social commentary.
Related Article: Talib Kweli: Rapper Replies to Slim Thug's Comments on Black Women
But Slim Thug asked for his public butt whooping, after engaging in one of the most feeble and misguided critiques of the African-American woman that I've heard in quite a while. Even for a rapper, he sounded as if he needed to be educated on what black women are all about. Here are Slim's words, "straight out of the negro's mouth":
...Most single Black women feel like they don't want to settle for less. Their standards are too high right now. They have to understand that successful Black men are kind of extinct. We're important. It's hard to find us so Black women have to bow down and let it be known that they gotta start working hard; they gotta start cooking and being down for they man more. They can't just be running around with their head up in the air and passing all of us.
I have a brother that dates a White woman and he always be f*cking with me about it saying, 'Y'all gotta go through all that shit [but] my White woman is fine. She don't give me no problems, she do whatever I say and y'all gotta do all that arguing and fighting and worry about all this other sh*t.'...
The truth is that Slim is not nearly as goofy as he sounds in that interview, but rappers sometimes force themselves to sound dumb in order to sell more records. Second, Slim possesses neither the moral authority, nor the mental precision to make his critique in an appropriate manner. Finally, he needs a translator, someone who could re-word his statement in "Black Scholar-ese," so that he and Dr. Hill can have an intelligent conversation about the important issue of black relationships.
Dr. Hill was typically sharp and articulate in the way he verbally "chopped and screwed" the Houston-based rapper:
In your interview, you talk about how much better white women treat their partners than black women. If what you're saying is true, why do Whites have the highest divorce rate of any group? Do white men get tired of being treated like kings? In reality, it seems that you are buying in to (and selling) a stale but dangerous ideal that constructs White women as ultra-feminine, loving, queens, and Black women as angry, selfish, and untrustworthy hoes.
Even more disturbing was your comment that "Black women gotta start being down for their man more." Since slavery, Black women have had to withstand rape, torture, and humiliation (from both white and black men) in order to sustain their families. Now, in 2010, 1 in 3 Black men between 20 and 29 years old are incarcerated or otherwise under criminal supervision. Every day, Black women are raising children without men in the house, working multiple jobs (for less pay!), and supporting brothers as they finish their prison bids.
The painful truth is that there is a place for Slim's remarks, since we all know that black relationships and black families are broken. While one must certainly agree with Dr. Hill's statements about much of the good within the black female community, we can't presume that every black woman in America is "holdin it down" while her man is in prison or currently enduring the lasting pain of the rape and torture of her ancestors. Just like men, some women can be less than perfect, and we all know that. Also, Dr. Hill's open letter to Slim Thug should also include an open letter to commercialized hip hop, which has turned the degradation of black women into a multi-billion dollar industry. I often wonder, however, why many of these albums are being purchased by black women themselves. But I digress.
Black men and women have decided not to marry each other and this is hurting our children. Rather than writing the entire debate off to "those brothers are trifling" or "all the sisters are messed up," perhaps it makes sense to be real in this discussion and talk about the issues.
What Slim Thug was trying (but unable) to say is this:
Some, not all, black women remain single for long periods of time, in spite of the fact that they have many viable male options. Our society does them no favors by presenting one news story after another about why black men are no good or why "good" black men are non-existent.
Most of us know a beautiful, intelligent, 30-something black woman who swears she can't find a man, in spite of the fact that she might likely know several men who would marry her at the drop of a dime. In some cases, her perception of the perfect man is elevated to the point that every man she meets misses the mark (except for unavailable ones).
Many black women grow up without a father in the home, which makes it difficult for some of them to figure out how to relate to a man. There is a way that a man wants to be addressed, treated and loved. Rather than learning how to engage with a man in a way that makes him comfortable, some see suggested behavioral modification as an affront to their independence and personal freedom.
In other words, "It's not my job to make you feel good about yourself!" Sorry my dear, but if you're my wife, then it is your job to make me feel good as a man, the same way it's my job to make you feel like a beautiful woman. The same way men are expected to adjust their behavior in order to get women to have sex with them, women might be asked to do the same in order to get men to want to marry them. It's a simple trade-off, and relationships require compromise and empathy that many of us are unwilling to provide.
Many black men, on the other hand, did not have a father in the home either, which causes them to miss out on the chance to learn how to be men. My biological father abandoned me when I was a baby, which led to my mother teaching me all the wrong things about being a man, since she didn't know how to be one.
When my step father came along and taught me simple things, though, it made all the difference in the world. Without his guidance, I would never have learned that a man never abandons his children and that a man makes sacrifices for his family, even if he is not personally comfortable. Instead, I might have been like a lot of men I know, making babies and not taking care of them, and looking for the easy way out of everything.
Black men and black women need to take the time to learn about each other. I suggest that anyone planning to get married read at least two books and take a class on how to make relationships work. The truth is that the toughness that black women have had to embrace for centuries can translate in to the inability to trust to make one lovable enough for a healthy relationship.
Simultaneously, the abuses black men have endured due to slavery and oppression can sometimes make us weak, unfocused and overly reliant upon black women to do the things that we need to do. While some can argue that many black women are psychologically damaged, most of that damage typically comes at the hands of a black man in her life. While we can point to millions of black men who engage in irresponsible behavior, though, we must all remember that most of these black men were raised by black women.
The chicken and the egg have worked together to create a very nasty omelette, and this has led to millions of highly dysfunctional relationships within the African-American community.
The "all black women are queens" approach is ultimately incorrect and does a disservice to black women, some of whom may need to really study the psychological hurdles that come with being raised without a father in the home. If I'd grown up without my mother, I wouldn't have a clue about how to treat women. The same parallel would be true for a woman who never learned "how to deal with daddy in the house." Also, the approach that says, "all black women are evil" is flawed as well, especially coming from Slim Thug, a guy who seems to expect women to bow at his feet, because he has money and isn't in jail. We are all to blame for this mess.
Read Talib Kweli's Response to Slim Thug here.
Dr. Boyce Watkins is the founder of the Your Black World Coalition and a Scholarship in Action Resident of the Institute for Black Public Policy. To have Dr. Boyce commentary delivered to your email, please click here. 
Comments: (100)
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By: cherie on 6/10/2010 2:22AM
To:cotton
Yes, Black women have issues... but If you want to throw stones - you need to look at yourself too.
Black men = lazy, dishonest, cheaters, uneducated, ignorant, bad credit, rude, abusive, alcoholics, irresponsible, drug addicted, ill-mannered, sloppy, disregard health, prison record, dont take care of their kids, and sometimes obese.
Any old black man that is just gettin' himself together is not entitled to have CLAIRE HUXTABLE, just because he is black!
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By: crammasters on 6/09/2010 6:30PM
@ cotton
Again, I'll ask this question: what kind of MAN degrades the women of his race, the same women that raised him? Are we BM perfect, brother? Is there not a list longer than the one you posted of BM stereotypes?
brother, you need to pick up a history book, and PUT SOME KNOWLEDGE IN YOUR HEAD, seriously,
And the FIRST THING you need to learn is:
No man can rise higher than the social position of his women. The more we BM put BW down, the lower we sink. If you doubt this is true, ask yourself – what person – WM, WW, BW, or BM – is most likely to:
1) drop out of school
2) Not go to college
3) Go to prison
4) Become homeless
5) Die before the age of 40
Instead of throwing stones at each other, the BM and BW should be trying to figure out to survive in this nation, because no matter how many non-black females we put on a pedestal, when the crap hits the fan, we’ll have NO ONE BUT EACH OTHER.
Non-black females may sex you, but they have ABSOLUTELY NO INTEREST in the black community, the BM unemployment rate, OR the BM who get murdered by cops,
they only come around for the good times. Point in fact, how many white, Asian, or Hispanic females rode the bus to Jena, LA?
I’ll tell you who dropped school and left their jobs and other commitments to ride buses for half a day to show up in Jena, LA to fight for six black boys (The Jena Six) they didn’t know from a hole in the wall: these SAME YOUNG BLACK WOMEN YOU ARE DOGGING OUT ON THIS THREAD
This is for all the sisters who are reading these posts: This is NOT about you. It’s about some BM who are so demoralized and frightened, that they are desperate to find someone they can be superior to. The only person they are NOT AFRAID OF IS YOU: the BW.
These males do NOT represent most BM. Most BM love, respect, and marry BW. Any man that has to blame all his problems and failures on women, won’t get along with any race of women…witness the highest divorce rate for blacks is the BM/WW divorce rate..
Nuff said…
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By: crammasters on 6/09/2010 6:47PM
@ Ljack
Brother, if we are filling up the prisons, maybe it’s time we start to ask ourselves WHY? Maybe, our women are NOT the problem, maybe it’s the SYSTEM that victimizes BM and BW?
BW also have the highest incarceration rate for females in this country. Yes, there are “stuck up” BW AND "stuck up" BM.
There are “ghetto” BW and "ghetto" BM. Of course, some BW got bad attitudes, but some don’t, but we don’t remember the sisters who smiled and said hello, we only remember the ones who didn’t.
BW don’t remember the brother who pushed her car out when she got snuck in the snow, or the brother who fixed her furnace or her car when it broke down, or the brother who took her out and tried to show her a good time, all they remember is the ones that didn’t.
When did we become so cannibalistic and using degrading stereotypes toward each other, doing the white system’s dirty work, like a bunch of CRAZED Energizer bunnies who keep going and going and going on their OWN power?
If we do not WISE UP and STOP ATTACKING each other, there will be NO ONE left to defend us when the deal goes down – including AND especially non-black females.
And if you don’t know what deal I’m talking about, look at our BM and BW prison rates, our high school drop out rates, our falling college attendance and graduation rates, our unemployment rates, our black neighborhood school closings rate, our black foreclosure rates, our murder by cop rates, our black divorce rates, mental illness rates, and our homelessness rates…
need I go on…?
If we can’t see that our communities are at WAR with the powers that be, we haven’t been paying attention. Any time you want to dialogue about it, see me at blackplanet
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By: Ljack on 6/10/2010 12:58PM
Crammasters: I agree with you 100 percent. However the "System is just that," A System. It's up to the BM and BW not to buy into it, and critical think for themselves. It's not a coincidence that black men are jailed, and killed faster than any other human on this planet, AK47s are in every black community without a gun manufacture in sight. Kilos of pure white cocaine and pounds of marijuana are easier to get than fresh fruits and vegetables. And black women and men are the fastest growing population for HIV. I mentioned in my previous post, that I can’t get a decent “hello” from a black woman – so meeting one and having sex without a condom is impossible.
It’s all part of the wicked plan to eradicate the Black race through drugs, murder, and disease by any means necessary. And starting with the strength, the black male. Times are critical for Black men in particular because we are a threat to society’s infrastructure. And black women have been force to chose between shattering the glass ceiling of opportunity, or pulling the so called dead weight of a black man. Many are choosing not too. History is repeating itself. During Pharos time, Africans were enslaved, and boy babies were killed, during slavery, black men were beaten and hung to put fear in black women, and today, 1.2 million black men and juveniles make up the over 2 million population in today’s prison system. In others words black folks. WAKE UP!
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By: crammasters on 6/10/2010 2:13PM
@ Ljack who said,"...the "System is just that, a System. It's up to the BM and BW not to buy into it, and critical think for themselves."
------------
brother, you summed it all up. However, it's apparent (at least to me) that some BM and BW are not interested in solving the problems between us, they would rather FIGHT than WIN.
It's like the "SYSTEM" uses these articles to throw a bone to the starving dogs and watch them tear each other apart over a bone with no meat on it.
Reading the comments, and watching BW fall into trap of attacking the handful of BM who posted nonsense AND ignoring the BM (like me) who support and defend them -- let's me know one thing.
They are LOCKED into this NEGATIVE behavior as much as the BM is. You ever watch two girls fight? They duck their heads down, close their eyes, and start swinging blind.
Neither one stops and asks what the fight is about, or if they should be fighting each other in the first place. And the more the folks on the sidelines egg them on, the harder they fight
That's what this dialogue reminds me of. The BM and BW are like two kids in the schoolyard that the bully (the SYSTEM) pushed them into each other and is egging them on from the sidelines with articles like this
And the next thing you know, they're swinging blind, got their head ducked down, eyes closed, don't know WHAT THE HELL they're really fighting about, BUT if you try to STOP THAT FIGHT, they will start fighting you
we better GROW UP and WISE UP before it's too late to WAKE UP
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By: cheryl on 6/09/2010 9:41PM
I have worked around mostly white people all my life. I haven't been attracted to them. Neither black men nor the media knows what's going
on in a black woman's world so why would anyone say that men of other ethnic groups are not attracted to us. That is simply a lie. Recently my nail tech wanted to set me up with a white guy. I told her I wasn't interested. She
insisted. She told him that I was African American. He was interested.
One day she calls him and tells him to come over to the shop & that I was there. He came right over. I said "Thanks but no thanks".
Three years ago I decided that while working on my taxes I would divert to something more interesting.
I went to Match.com for a trial run. At least 15 white men responded within 3 days.(2 African American) I e-mailed Match that there must
be something wrong because I was only interested in AA men. They explained that I needed to check that box. I passed on the whole Match.com thing.
Brothers what I am saying is that if I wanted to be with a white man, it would happen.
Same story for thousands of black women. So stop putting us down as if we can't get a man of another ethnic group. Leave us the hell
alone. We can manage our love life without any derogatory remarks from black men that are into white women and closet white freaks that
want black women.(@ BillW) LoL
As for Stayve J. Thomas aka Slim Thug, google his bio. He is exactly what his name says-a thug.
He grew up in the streets. No wonder women with character and integrity are turned off by him. He has no skills. Obviously he had no male to mentor him properly. Be careful who u listen to and who u
believe.
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By: crammasters on 6/09/2010 10:26PM
@ cheryl
BW are the most imitated women on earth, so there is no doubt that you have universal appeal, but due to the racist pecking order, some non-black males keep their interest in you undercover. it has nothing to do with whether the black female is appealing, it has to do with white supremacy standards.
Sister, these BW-bashing males do NOT represent most of us (BM). Truth be told, a BM who uses WW to bash BW usually has no better relationship success with WW than he does with BW, that's why so many IR-loving BM go thru WW like toilet paper...
We must be careful NOT to play into the hands of our enemies, and start despising each other based on what some fool azz internet poster (who may be posing as a black person said)
because at some point the manufactured war between the BM and BW become a self-fulfilling prophecy...
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By: crammasters on 6/09/2010 10:42PM
@ cheryl
one last thing i meant to add
From my own experience, most BW want a BM, but we take it to mean they can't get a man of another race, instead of understanding that some (not all) BW are just loyal to their race, even if that means being alone.
my wife told me a story...of something that happened when she was in early 20s, before we got married. She was attending a seminar at Devry tech institute and this white male around her age came up and started a conversation.
My wife is a dark-skinned, beautiful BW with short natural hair. She is also very friendly, and courteous, so I guess he felt he could approach her.
So, he asked her, point blank, 'why aren't BW interested in dating WM?' and she told him that a lot of BW don't trust WM or their motives for dating BW. She said, she guessed he didn't expect an honest answer because he walked away without another word. (my wife keeps it real)
My point? If a BW wanted to find a non-black man, she could, that goes without question. Why some do not has nothing to do with lacking sexual appeal...
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By: Ms Sensual on 6/09/2010 11:04PM
"Many black women grow up without a father in the home" It always seems to come back to the men, does'nt it?
" While we can point to millions of black men who engage in irresponsible behavior, though, we must all remember that most of these black men were raised by black women." Again it comes back to the men! Why are'nt they ever where they should be?
". In some cases, her perception of the perfect man is elevated to the point that every man she meets misses the mark (except for unavailable ones). Black women do not believe in fairy tales. Black men should step up their game and stop crying. It's getting very old.
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By: cheryl on 6/10/2010 1:37AM
@crammasters
Thx for the back up and your compliment to all black women.
Your wife is right on and beautiful too. Black women are very loyal to our own and that is probably a major reason that many are alone. (considering the ratio) but believe me it is very possible to just get on a plane and go to other countries where there are plenty of men. Some of us would rather do that than date white men in this country.
It amazes me that these freaks have the nerve to get on here and diss black women. You are so right! Imposters they are. We as a people are in this struggle together.
However it is difficult to back up men when they turn on us and misuse us to sell CD's.
I think very highly of black men inspite of our issues. I just hate to see black men and women air their dirty laundry in public. (Slim Thug)
Brother my comments were directed only toward men on here who are pitiful, not toward you or any black men that stand up for black women. One thing we know is that billw is a poor pathetic white man and Cotton is a 'Jerk'.
Another thing we know is that George Washington, Thomas Jefferson and all the rest of them had plenty of black children so @Cotton tell me
who did the founding Fathers think was most desirable? They had to r### our women in order to get it.
Slim Thug simply did not get the nurturing that he needed from his parents (esp his father) so he expects it from his woman. (mother figure) He needs to grow up but I doubt that he will.
I just hope that he changes his lyrics.
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