On Father's Day, I wrote about the immense thrill of being a dad. This is one of the reasons I applauded President Obama's initiative, Fatherhood.gov, in which his administration provides resources and information on the role that a father should play in the lives of his children.

As Rev. Sharpton and I talked about the issue yesterday, we both agreed that a father needs to not only have the encouragement to do his job, he must also have access to a job, which millions of black men across America are being denied. Black male unemployment is the highest in the country and this problem must be managed with the same diligence as the effort we are putting into simply telling these men that they need to "step up to the plate."

I checked out a promotional video for Fatherhood.gov, just to see what the site has to offer. That's when I saw "the commercial." The public service announcement is funny, yet disturbing. A black man is standing on his front porch reciting a cheer with his daughter who looks like she's five or six years old. He's not only reciting the cheer, he's doing all the dance moves in a way that would make Beyonce blush: shaking, twisting, twirling and being even more feminine than his little girl. "Alrighty then," I thought to myself. "This isn't gonna fly too well with some of the brothers."

Don't get me wrong, we all understand the value of fatherhood. We also realize that in order to be a good parent, you must be willing to let go of gender roles if that's what it takes to relate to your children. But the person who created this public service announcement obviously doesn't understand the culture of the black male. While we certainly can't put all black men in one box, the truth is that there is a significant subset of the black male population that remains highly connected to the hyper-masculine nature of hip hop and sports. This means that the last thing you see yourself doing as a 21-year old man is shaking your butt like Janet Jackson.

The ad is ultimately correct in that it's meant to be funny and to remind men that there are many ways to be a guy. But the truth is that if the goal of the commercial is to convince young men to modify their behavior, they've failed miserably. To show an ad like this to convince black men to become better fathers is like trying to convince black women to swim by showing them how it ruins their hair. They would all agree that exercise is healthy, but many of them would stay fat if it meant messing up their perms. I noticed that most of my female friends see no problem with the ad, and that's probably for the same reason I saw no problem with my daughter playing football and not doing her hair. The truth is that men and women see requirements of their sexuality differently, and it must be acknowledged that there are some men who are not going to find this commercial to be the least bit appealing.

This ad needs to be scrapped and replaced by one that reminds men that fatherhood is a strong expression of their manhood as opposed to providing yet another opportunity for the world to further emasculate them. While the dancing, jiggling daddy who drives the minivan can certainly be one model of parenting, there must be alternatives for men who have a different perception of masculinity. But at the end of the day, being a father is certainly what matters most.





Fatherhood should certainly be promoted, along with an additional push toward personal responsibility. But our government also has a responsibility to open doors of access and opportunity to black men, who've long been denied the chance to provide in a way that will allow them to be comfortable taking care of a family.

Additionally, any mother that burns the bridge between father and child, no matter how justified she might feel in her decision, runs the risk of denying a man the right to raise the seed that she created along with him. Parenting is not a dictatorship with one person having veto power over the actions of everyone involved. While irresponsible behavior on the part of bad dads can't be ignored, we must all take responsibility for the breakdown of the black family.

Again, as a father of girls myself, I can understand what the commercial is trying to say. But if they are working to convince some men to change their behavior, they might want to find something more effective.



Dr. Boyce Watkins is the founder of the Your Black World Coalition and a Scholarship in Action Resident of the Institute for Black Public Policy. To have Dr. Boyce commentary delivered to your email, please click here.