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Alvin Greene is Feeling Presidential for 2012

By Jam Donaldson on Nov 10th 2010 12:53PM
Filed under: News, Politics

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Alvin Greene is Feeling Presidential for 2012

Since the midterms election last week, many of you have been wandering around in a depressed and/or drunken stupor. Some of you fear that the election results virtually guarantee that Washington will be gripped by political gridlock for the next two years. Some of you fear that fear-mongering, hysteria and misinformation were the only true winners in this election cycle.

Others of you did not vote and basically have no idea what has been going on in Washington since Obama was elected.

You know who you are. You are the folks that will give everyone a piece of your mind in the comments section of every blog but don't have the gumption to get your lard-behind off of your Cheetos-infested couch in front of your 50-inch TV long enough to cast a ballot. For you people, you can close this window now and proceed to another post regarding Beyonce or Antoine Dobson.

For those of us who are civically engaged, whatever your political leanings, the course of the midterm election process was ugly and demoralizing.

But don't put your heads in the oven just yet. Don't raid the medicine cabinet and overdose on the three-year-old Percocet, from when you had your wisdom teeth removed, just yet.

There is someone waiting anxiously in the wings just biding his time for the right moment to swoop in and save this country from ourselves.

Alvin Greene.


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The South Carolinian wonder, who raised the "non-campaign" to an art form, has his eye on the ultimate prize: President of these United States. He called the South Carolina Democratic Party on Tuesday to ask how much it would cost to run for president.

Yes, president.

Don't you see, his overwhelming loss in the South Carolina Senate race was merely part of a larger plan. Greene used his senatorial campaign simply to test the waters to determine whether the American electorate was ready for his greatness. And they were not ready. Yet.

When asked by a Politico.com reporter whether he was contemplating a run in 2012, Greene answered definitively:

"Maybe. I'll have to see."

Politico reports the state party's spokeswoman, Keiana Page, confirmed that someone did call the party Tuesday asking about the presidential filing fee but said that the caller did not identify himself. He's so stealthy!

Greene, the only man brave enough to divulge who really caused the Great Recession (Jim Demint, of course) is now seeking a new job: leader of the free world.

And sure, he may still be facing felony porno charges in South Carolina, and sure he may still be unemployed, broke and living in his dad's basement. But isn't everyone?

This is all part of the great Greene plan. Do not underestimate this man.

Alvin Greene 2012. Don't call it a comeback. He's been here for a year.


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